We Will Forever Be Indebted to Seals and Croft

We will forever be indebted to Seals and Croft for the lyric, "Summer breeze, makes me feel fine..." (although I never knew before, and in fact just learned, that the remainder of that chorus is "blowing throught the jasmine in my mind." What does that mean?). The summer breeze, though it may blow less frequently, and when it does, is hot and scorching during late June in Texas, does in fact make me feel fine. This is the definitive moment of the year; that point that never ceases to affirm that I made the correct decision in becoming a teacher. This is when I get paid to do nothing.

And herein lies the dilemma, and the reason for my post. Today was a blissful day. Unstructured, and yet full. Largely unrushed (except for the evening), and yet productive in its easy-going time. I took Brennan out for donuts and coffee, and we played Madlibs. I took the boys to the library, and upon our return we read for close to two hours (on and off). We had practices and games to close the day, and then I spent an unhurried couple of hours discipling an eager, godly young man. It was perfect. It was fulfilling in its connection to others and investment in the lives of those dearest to me. And it all came about as a result of these simple words: "I don't have anything else I need to do." If it were a school night, I would have needed to get to bed, and so would have cut short my discipleship time. If I had to teach classes the next day, I would likely have spent more time reading "Gardner's Art Through the Ages" than I did "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" and "Treasure Island."

But I DO have things to do. I feel like I (and my students) would benefit from my reading a bit more about art and history. I know I need to expand my expertise in Photoshop for a new class I teaching next year. I will never get 10 paintings (let alone 20) done this summer if I don't regularly get out to the studio. And yet I sleep in. I take naps. I do nothing. I relax. I enjoy other pasttimes (as you may notice from the abundance of posts lately). And these are not bad, but am I just procrastinating? Will I get to August and find nothing was accomplished that needed to be? I also spend time being with my kids: making bows and arrows, hunting red-shouldered hawk feathers, reading stories of adventure and character, watching them play sports and adoring their personalities and senses of humor. I spend time with my wife: taking her on extravagant dates, playing volleyball together (something like 3 or 4 times in the last four days!), and even just watching TV. I make myself available to friends, and have time for spiritual development. These things are great, and I need the summer to "catch up" on these things; to spend intense amounts of time on them and realize that, yes, these are the most important things in my life.

I guess what I'm saying is that I sometimes lose the line between relaxing into the flow of what is truly essential as well as taking some time to just REST, and being a bum who never gets out of bed, never gets anything done, and somehow justifies it with the notion of resting (from the past and for the coming school year). Or to put it another way, I have a hard time refusing the things that are most essential the time that they truly deserve (and which, for much of the year,take a backseat to the monster that is school) JUST for the sake of continuing to be "productive" in my "off time." I want to get things done: painting and preparing for the (all-too-steadily-advancing) school year. I want to NOT do things, in order to be with Jesus, family and friends.

The dilemma, I'm afraid, is not new to me. I remember an episode of the NBC comedy "Ed" (about the bowling alley lawyer, not the horse), in which Ed is forced to choose between the writings of Thoreau (one of my favorites) and an inventor who had a near-death experience. Their approaches could not be more different: life is short, so choose only what is essential (or to quote my beloved "Walden":"Simplify, simplify") vs. life is short, and you only get one go-around, so don't miss anything...try it all (as expressed in Willie's book, "Do Everything"). I cannot, nor have I been able to do everything, though I continue to try. I guess I'm bringing myself back to what is basic. Simplifying. Thanks for listening...it's been helpful to hash it out.

So tomorrow I'll wake up and take my dog for a walk. I'll paint in the studio for a few hours. I'll play with the kids. And I won't get hung up on the fact that I can't spend HUGE chunks of time on everything, or that I can't get something done in one fell swoop (which is a crippler for me!). I'll chip away at each important thing a little at a time. Each thing will get a little time. And in the end, another summer day will pass away. Hopefully when I reach this point tomorrow I will "not find that I had not come to live. "

Just a Little Quote to Brighten Your Day

Spoken by my dear son Aydan, while we were in public, at a somewhat quiet moment:

"Dad...you have gray hairs in your mohawk."

It's not everyday you hear something that amazing.

Field Trip 4

Yesterday we went to a blackberry patch to pick our own blackberries. When we go to the lake, the boys and I love finding our own wild blackberries to pick and eat. Heather came up with the idea, but we were all eager to go.

So we arrived as soon as they opened and picked a whole bucket full. I've never seen such big, sweet blackberries. To fill the buckets, we had to mix in some smaller berries, but we were told they would be excellent for baking.

(this was entirely unprompted...AH! He makes me so proud!)

Now I'm not one for spending a lot of time outside during the Texas summer. I've frequently commented that if there's not a pool within 20 feet--or if I'm not actively involved in TRYING to sweat, like playing sand volleyball--then I don't particularly want to swelter out of doors. But I thought 9 am wouldn't be too bad, and it wasn't; but after 2 hours of picking (and the boys did awesome!), we were all pouring sweat and ready to go. Brennan probably got a bit too hot and didn't have enough to drink, because he started feeling sick and got a little pale, but we got him in the car, stuffed him with food and water and he quickly resumed his perpetual wriggling and dancing in the back seat.

Despite the heat, it was such a great summer day. Berry picking. Bright, sunny and hot. We went to the pool to cool off. Then, to finish the day, we grilled brats and baked a blackberry cobbler.
These summer field trips are a blast.

Field Trip 3

I don't normally make a big deal of Father's Day, but something about this past one was special. It wasn't the activities. It was a profound sense of thankfulness. I truly am blessed to have a wonderful wife who has given me two amazing kids. Just being with them this past Sunday was so fun and so beautiful. I am very grateful to have them.

That being said, we had planning on doing something fun for the boys birthdays (since this is the first year we've split their parties, we thought we'd still do a combined celebration between the dates). We took advantage of the special day to head to Medieval Times. From my perspective, it's a trap, designed to force parents into spending money based on their pleading children's demands while captive, waiting for a show. The show itself was kind of chessey: poor acting, less-than-thrilling stunts, sappy romance, pseudo-Old English, etc. However, the food was delicious and plentiful, and the enjoyment the boys experienced was worth the trip. In their minds they were watching a thrilling tournament with true knights.

All in all it was a very good day.

Field Trip 2

I ventured across to the other side of Dallas to spend some time with my extended family--those known as "The Texas Liechty's." Emil and Lorne had invited me to celebrate their mother, Jean's, 80th birthday with them. While I was at Emil's somewhat palatial estate, I chatted with several relations (my favortie conversation was with Zack, who had little nicknames for each member of his family: "Bear," "Porky" and "Tootsie"--his sons and wife, respectively). Since I knew some of you might enjoy seeing "the fam" I snapped pictures with as many as I could. When I got home, I realized I didn't get shots of Jean or Emil and Sherri. Oh well...maybe next time.

Me with 2 of Emil's sons: Spencer (left) and Skyler (right)...and a Puma
Spencer again, and Zack, the child of...
Mary and (oh yes, it is! the legendary) Jim Siverude (is that how you spell it?)
While he did not call me "Hon" at any point, Jim did manage to pat me on the stomach/side during the 20 seconds we conversed. Awesome.

Me and Jeff (son of John; all the others pictured were Paul &Jean's kids/grandkids).
I also failed to get a picture with Gina (Jeff's sister) and Larry. I was distracted as I talked to Jeff, because he really looks a lot like my cousin Nate.


Me and Steve

Me, Lorne & Mary

(I also met some of their kids, Sarah and Harlan, but didn't get pictures with them. As you can see from Jeff and Lorne--and believe it or not, Emil had one too--I apparently did not get the Hawaiian shirt memo.)

Me, Marlin & Amy

(Again...failed to get pictures of their kids, Jordan, Michael and Grace)

So that was my trip. In all actuality, it was an enjoyable way to spend a Saturday evening.

Field Trip

Johnny and I took a field trip today: to the Dallas Nature and Science Museum. We were allowed by the collections supervisor to view the (not for public display) ornithology collection. So I took tons of pictures, did a sketch of a goose, and then came home. Since I had the camera out, I took pictures of my 3 most recent paintings. I used a tripod and natural light, so hopefully they appear a little better than my previous attempt (with "Thistles").

While I was at it, I pulled a couple of pictures out of the archives, just to gauge my progress a bit. The apple was done while I was training with Jon, during my charcoal stage (that is, before I started my training in paint). The tangerine was done at the tail end of my training, and the Italian still life was started last summer, prior to the thistles, but was completed after (just a couple days ago).

It should also be noted that I changed my ISO setting after one photograph, and now looking at them, I think they may be too dark. I've included the first version of the tangerine (the lighter one) which shows a pretty accurate depiction. That means that, although I did not alter the contrast on the photos (though I should have...they're a little dark; still, I didn't feel like it), they may actually look worse in real life. All in all, I'm pretty frustrated these days, but still, posts like this help me to remember that I'm still practicing (and I haven't actually done that much, really) and that I have made some small progress.

(Apple Study)
Very rough, early attempt. Still, I think the value was better in this than in some that I've just finished!

(Tangerine)
There is some progression here. At least it looks more "finished" than the apple.

(Tangerine)
This is probably closer to what it actually looks like. It's also likely to be a truer representation of the lighting/lightness for all the pictures.

(Thistles)

(Italian Still Life)

Finally, the following painting is not yet finished, but I hope to complete it in the next several days. I'll be sure to post a final picture when it's done.

("Not I")

("Not I", detail of face)
When I look at this I can't decide whether to laugh or be furious. The eyes are so messed up it's laughable. I should go back and fix them...but I probably won't. I also kind of laugh at the hair and its crazy shape (but I'm sure that's the way it looked on the day I painted it!). I'm not sure if you can see it, but if you look to the right of the head you'll see a circular line incised on the gold background. This will become the nimbus (halo) behind the head.

("Not I", detail of hand)
There are problems here, too. Most notably with the bent fingers and with some of the color. The interesting side note to this one is that when I returned, after several weeks, to finish the forearm I could no longer make my hand take the shape of this pose, due to the cut on my wrist. I considered including the cut for a brief moment--you know, as a stigmata kind of thing--but quickly abandoned that idea. You can see the background here is sketchy and needs to be completed.

On Be(com)ing an Artist

On April 18th of this year, while attending the State VASE (Visual Art Scholastic Event) competion with my students, I wrote the following.

"Charlie Darwin" is a perfect song for melancholic, contemplative introspection. These VASE times are so challenging. Such amazing artwork. Such fantastic ideas. It is mildly inspiring, and mainly depressing. As a teacher, I realize my shortcomings when it comes to producing great students artists, great artwork. As an artist, I feel a pulsing, a need to create--to do something "better than these kids could do." But I then feel paralysis to do so. Fear freezes me. This great fear of not being as good as I want to be; of trying and failing; of getting close and being frustrated. I know very simply what to do: draw daily (lifelike portraits, color studies, etc.). But... "But": Time. Lack of Skill. Fear...

In "Watchmen" Ozymandius has the mental capacity to "see the strings that control the system." Is it possible to use brain power to sort through, figure out, discern the mysteries, control oneself and the events swirling around? I want to answer the question, "How do I 'Be creative'?" What do I have that is both central to who I am and what I want to create, and simultaneously revolutionary, inventive, and responding to the pendulum shift that will inevitably swing away from Postmodern art? I don't want to be Sargent or Schmidt. Then again, I don't want to be Hirst. Maybe more like Walker or Ford: using Sargent to be me--to do something, to say something, to think through something. And God forbid that I take some graduate course someday and some professor looks at my work and "sees" ten other artists in my work (referencing them only to impress himself and others). Wow...I don't want to become unteachable, but I don't want to be told, but to figure it out.

Those were my thoughts. For a time, as I studied art history and looked at the present art scene, I found myself desiring to be innovative and even famous. I wrote about this to my friend Drew, and his words were profound: "Stop trying to be famous and just paint." Today, I cannot excell. I cannot be world-class. I cannot be great. But I can work, practice, become better.

And so, to that end, I set the goal for myself that I would complete 10-20 paintings. Yesterday, for the first time, I completed a painting in one day (though it did take longer than I had hoped). Unfortunately, the work I produced was quite poor. It is too bright, sappy, with major errors in the overall value.

(Yours Truly, "Thistles")

(Ludwig Deutsh, "The Palace Guard")

Anyway, if I compare myself to Deutsh, I would be depressed. But I will take Drew's advice: just paint. A little each day, getting better and better. Stay tuned to view the progress.