A blog is dying

I like to write, sure. I'm not even that bad at it. My priorities, however, place writing at a fairly low point on my "to do" list. Then, of course, the real trouble is sitting down and finding something whimsical and interesting to write about. Then there's the added pressure of feeling the need to sound witty or wise as I chronicle my thoughts. And then I get so discouraged when there are no responses to my thoughts (please, no pity responses on this post), as though they are not valid without a reply. Such pressure makes me reluctant to post, especially when I need to be in the studio or playing with the boys or doing 1 of a 1,000 other projects. Doesn't this all sound familiar? I'm sure I've talked about this before.

Well, since it's about time for another post...or time to let my dying blog finally die...I'll pull out something from about this time last year.

Nostalgia

"Aydan was getting ready for VBS today and I was fairly fascinated at how big he's getting. He got dressed entirely by himself, including picking out all his own clothes: a repetoire complete with camoflage pants, sweat bands, his VBS shirt, and a visor. He then packed his Bible in his backpack by himself and hopped in the car. When we got to church, I expected him to be hesitant, but he charged into the unknown with no reservations, and I was the one who started to cry.
He's so big. He's spreading his wings and flying. It's cheesy, but it's true. He is finding independence and flourishing in it. I'm proud, and I'm sad (it's going by so fast), and I'm drawn back to my own childhood. I think maybe nostalgia is the state of mind that naturally occurs when such emotions are mixed together in the perfect cocktail.
1985. Maybe it wasn't a big year for you; hey, it probably wasn't that big a year for me either, but it signifies an important period of time in my life. In my nostalgia I find myself looking for the GI Joe theme song on the internet and longing for the return of parachute pants." {As an aside, I find it humorous that, a year later, that the 80's are fully upon us. We are revisiting that era in all manner of fashion, right down to white deck shoes (which I WILL be getting a pair of) and plaid shorts}. "I focus on this year because it is the subject of a song by the band Roper. I realized, thru this song, that it’s because I long for those days of ease and carefree living. The days of exploration and breaking free from the parents. The days of running through a park in Jamestown, ND with striped tube socks up the to top of my calves.
“Those days seem so distant, feels like a million miles. Troubles were nonexistent--1985.”

Maybe you feel like me, and you realize you MUST remember some of those feelings, relive some of those days, just to feel alive. In another song, "End of the Innocence" by Don Henley, I achingly agree with the lyrics, “Remember when the days were long…Didn’t have a care in the world…Somewhere back there in the dust, that same small town in each of us. I NEED to remember this.” It's like a hook inside my brain that pulls me back again and again. I have an idea for a painting depicting this, and hopefully you'll get to see that someday. But for now, I think I'll just grab a glass of lemonade, sit out on the lawn next to the sprinkler and remember the sights, sounds and smells of summer. When the days were long and we had no cares in the world. And when, at last, I must return to the "grown-up" world, I will go pick up Aydan and relive all these beautiful memories vicariously through my son."